Friday, November 23, 2012
A small cry comes from the darkened room. The sound itself pulls at the strings of my heart reminding me of the transformation that occurred when I became a mother a little more than one year back. Her cry persists for only a second before she nods off back to sleep. The warmth generated inside my soul carries on much longer than my baby's short moment of wakefulness.
It is a rare occasion tonight as I find myself alone. I am glad for the solitude that allows me to savor the feelings that are stirred inside my heart by the sound of my baby's cry.
For nine months we wondered what our progeny was going to look like. Mark had a notion of what he thought she could look like. Me... well, I didn't even dare to imagine. Trying to comprehend the monumental task that lay before me that I had no less willingly wrought upon myself was enough of riddle to me that I didn't attempt to solve another of what our baby was going to look like. The only thing I was sure of was that life was permanently changed, never again to be like I had known it.
When she was born I didn't feel an instantaneous bond. Whether that was from the anesthesia from Eden's arrival into the world via cesarian birth or just a slower awakening of my maternal instincts I do not know. Despite the anesthesia though I remember when I gazed on my baby and touched her for the first time since leaving the operating room thinking to myself, "so this is my daughter." I felt relief that the journey of pregnancy was over and that E had arrived safely. She was healthy and living proof of the miracle of creation that Heavenly Father granted us. After nine months of pregnancy, we were finally at our beginning of being parents.
Eden crying tonight reassures me that even in her sleep I am now bonded to this little person. Her cry brings images of her smile, glowing countenance, sweet face, babbling voice and toddling little legs into my mind making me anxious for when she will again wake in the morning so that we can start another day of adventure and discovery while we laugh, cuddle, play, and feel the love that accompanies our family of three.
Adding on to the list of "The Surprises of Parenthood" is your infant's soft cry in the night is actually a lovely, little, sweet, tender thing. Who knew?!
